To All You Lovely People: An Apology

Yes, yes I suppose I can come on here and whinge about all the emotion malarkey i can suffer, or perhaps, more favourably, sit it out and swallow some damaged pride and move on.

OK this one is not about sport, but my fickle mind will probably make daft references to my, actual, true love.

This week I received ‘closure’, another pathetic, un-ruling thing the Yanks like to make up to make the rest of the world feel inadequate. Nevertheless, I cannot find another decent word for it.

This apparent ‘closure’ came a little six months late, but who am I to moan, I pretty glad she is out of my life completely now. I saw her briefly and as she stood in front, I felt nothing, less than nothing even. I felt regret. To be honest I am not one for regret but looking profoundly on, I wish things were different.

One day on and I feel like I was eighteen again, foolishly enough it was when Reading was last in the championship, beware this may be an omen for any future girlfriend. If we get promoted, let us face it luv, it will be over. Nothing can take my passion away from me, or even suck it dry.

I was a classic fool to feel that I would not change, I still want to act my age (and secretly younger). So I am severely sorry if I act occasionally (loads) immature but that is me and I will never apologise for being me. I am not perfect, but find me someone who is. Life brings up numerous of challenges and you do not wither and burn at the glimpse of the first. It was inevitable I was there to fight. This time I was more sensible, hindsight was my guide.

Undoubtedly, I want to behave my age. I do not want to become a tireless old man (despite my bastard university friends declaring I am); I want to be able to be my own man. Whatever that actually means. I want to make my mistakes, I want to reach my goals, and I, certainly, want to live.

So I apologise, occasionally knocking bins over on a way back from town, or indeed tell a rude joke that some people might find offensive. (Tottenham fans)

I apologise for not wanting to sit in every night and watching re-runs of CSI and New Tricks where there are more exciting things to do.

I like a beer in fact I like many. I like hanging out with a friend, in fact I like hanging out with many. This possible burden in my life began when England played Sweden in the World Cup 2006 and I missed Joe Cole’s stunning goal and that is the day I remember I got distracted in what was important for me at the time. This girl started to rule my life and I was happy to see it. My friends warned me but again i was oblivious from their remarks.

It carried on from there, refusing me to watch Match of the Day, Reading was in the fucking Premiership for the first time, and you can insert some words here as my mind and soul is, pathetically, too smashed.

My mind was dwarfed and common courteously probably kept me in it. She began university a year before me as I decided to stay back to support my family as my father attracted Leukaemia. Perhaps I thought she could have been a little bit more supportive but nevertheless she was there for me and I could never forget and I am in debt because of that.

When you find out you are actually spending a lot more time with her than your mates you begin to wonder. I worked hard to regain my friends trust and their hand in friendship again as my First Girlfriend Leanne kept me away from them. That is a good thing about close friends they will always be there for you, other friends will bail at the first sight of danger.

I know I have a marmite type of personality, you love or loathe me, in some cases as it turned out you actually do both.

Now, after this pathetic ‘closure’ ordeal I can finally move on, upwards and skywards.

Ladies and Gentlemen you are about to find out what the real Steven Woodgate has to offer. Fact.

A few things first, I want to write what my friends mean to me, just in case I get foolish and lose them all over again.

I want to thank my mate Stuart who has been on the belly aching of all my moaning and high pitch tantrums. Mate, you are a legend and one in the highest regard. There will be a day where I will be there for you and list all the things I have called you. (Future blog beckons). Our future careers will follow similar trends, as long as he beats me he is a very sore loser. He will never be too far away.

Then Matt, who has never failed to get me drunk nor show me a good time. He is the party animal and one friend I look up to the most. Our personalities just click instantly and would be able to catch up with whether it has been a day, a week or even a month. A sacred bond (not gay), no doubt we will be friends for life. We have our share for lust and love of football.

There is my wacky cousin Jay who I always end up in balls of laughter, more at him than anything else. He is my little brother and I feel obliged and honoured to look after him. I always seem to be told off or called numerous of unrepeatable names when around him and I hope I can help to be successful in life.

Ross, my gig collaborate for many a years, has been a constant giggle. Regular banter is always the forefront of all discussions and we are always constantly disagreeing but his very random and very personal, outbursts are pure genius and he is a truly popular person by all regards.

Then there is Dick, well what can I say about Richard. He can often drift into the background but if there is, a person you want to rely it is he. Hard as nails, well a secondary school time of kicking him in the balls has matured that. A cult hero, the most underappreciated friend i have.

Newly found friends Rich and Johnson have certainly given this summer extra spice. I cannot forget about Dan Honnor the big sex pest in my life. A man with no worries but huge love to give. A frightening prospect by all means. A gentle, hideous giant.

I cannot forget some popular university pals that have inspired me on new directions. Mark and Steph, about bloody time. I have seen this perfect relationship for a long time, a Ross, and Rachael type. Well the near the end anyway. They should write a book, and I will read I can tell you foremost. A true gentleman and his girl, it was written in the stars. Sorry for my bam bam bamming it is all incident.

Andy, probably the biggest person I know who loves him dearly, is quite a legend. He probably already knows that. He is definitely someone I can relate to wholeheartedly.

Plus the Sam’s but I cannot say which names we use to tell them apart. (LMFAO)

The Kiff is another one that I have grew deep affection for, our constant banter about football and he is my go to guy. A true friend to say the least.

How can I forget Dennis or Buzz, the main body I exchange my life with? Missed me loads; it is probably that silly chin, or the two and half hairs growing out of it. Perhaps, it is extremely poor haircut or stripy jumpers. However, I believe it is, having a Shaun moment. Including his little sidekick the ‘House’, well his head is probably that big.

Plus to anyone else I forgot to mention: I am sorry sometimes I am an arse hole (self confessed), but live with it because it is only to get better.

Family always stick with you, and to be honest they have too. Friends are not always for life but it is always good to know who they are.

See you all very soon, it is going to be messy.